Dr. Allegra “Ally” Skye, sex therapist and amateur sleuth, is the fictional heroine of Marcia James’ comic romantic mystery work-in-progress, Sex & the Single Therapist. When she isn’t helping her Las Vegas police detective boyfriend, Zack Crawford, solve murders, she counsels patients and writes this column. Ally requests that all questions be submitted to her through Marcia (Marcia@MarciaJames.net). In exchange, Marcia reserves the right to use the Sex Q&A column as a source of inspiration when writing Dr. Ally's mystery series.
This Sex Q&A column is designed to be entertaining, not to provide professional advice. Those in need of counseling are urged to meet with a licensed sex therapist.
Posted on
Wednesday 9 April 2008
Q: Dear Dr. Skye: I met this really cute guy at a club and was really attracted to him until we slow-danced. He smelled! And it’s not like he hadn’t showered or was wearing stinky cologne. It was just him. Really! What’s up with that? — Dawn C., Newport Beach, CA
A: If we rule out any medical conditions and too much ingested garlic, it could be a case of incompatible pheromones. Human bodies release pheromones — sometimes called “the sexual scent of attraction” — that lure some people and repel others. You’d have to spend more time with the young man in question to determine the source of his scent. Or you could sign up for the dating service, ScientificMatch.com, which pairs people by their scents. According to a Universal Press Syndicate news item, the company “tests the genes of the ‘major histocompatibility complex’” because “in a study, women preferred the smell of T-shirts worn by men whose genes differed most.” Unfortunately, the service isn’t cheap. Instead of paying their $1,995 fee, you could spend that money on a lot of trips to the club to perform your own slow-dance scent tests!
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Posted on
Monday 31 March 2008
Q: Dear Dr. Skye: I’m 58 and my divorce was final this month. I’d like to start dating again. Am I too old for Internet dating sites? — Charlotte M., Atlanta, GA
A: Not at all! In fact, according to a recent USA Today article, singles over the age of 55 are flocking to online dating services. Both PerfectMatch.com and Yahoo! Personals report that their biggest growth is in the over-55 market. And Match.com said its over-55 membership has doubled since 2006. The second largest online dating demographic is the 45-54 group. So you’ll be in good company if you sign up for an Internet dating site. Just be sure to take steps to stay safe if you arrange to meet a possible soulmate “in the real world”.
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Posted on
Monday 24 March 2008
Definition of the Day
[Dr. Skye credits Urbandictionary.com for its wealth of interesting words and definitions you won't find in Webster's Dictionary.]
Today’s Urbandictionary.com term: Expiration dating
Definition: A relationship with a defined end, perhaps because someone is moving.
Usage example: “She’s moving across the country in a month, so we’re expiration dating.”
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Posted on
Monday 10 March 2008
Q: Dear Dr. Skye: What’s with this term “cougar” — for older women who date younger men? Why is it okay for men to date younger women, but when women date younger men, everyone’s like “Ewwwwww”? — Brenda H., Austin TX
A: There has always been a double standard when it comes to women dating younger men, but many think men dating younger women is pretty “Ewwww”, too. ;-) Such men have been called everything from lechs to Sugar Daddies to old fools. Many believe that such situations are based more on economics — e.g., she’s a gold-digger and he’s in a mid-life crisis — than on love. But there are people who are soulmates no matter the differences in their ages.
And the same pertains to older women and younger men. Sure, older women might be in the financial position to offer young men an extravagant life, but some of the pairings are love matches. Why would a woman want a younger man? Some say their attraction is based on such things as a “lack of baggage” and an enthusiastic vitality. Young men, some who call themselves “cougar hunters”, say they appreciate an older woman’s sexual confidence.
Where did the term “cougar” come from? I’m not sure, but it appears it sprang from the idea that older women stalk and prey on younger men, which is why most women dislike the term. But “cougar” has been used in so many TV shows and movies now, that it’s entered popular slang. So women who enjoy dating younger men are starting to warm the term, embracing their inner cougar with pride. 
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Posted on
Wednesday 20 February 2008
From Dr. Skye: In (Belated) Honor of Valentine’s Day, A Little Kissing Trivia
(Sources include www.squido.com, www.romancestuck.com, www.answers.com. www.theromantic.com, and www.gagirl.com)
* The record for the largest group kiss was set on July 22, 2007, in Britain when more than 32,000 people kissed for 20 seconds.
* 20, 160 minutes is what the average person spends kissing during his or her lifetime.
* The longest recorded kiss took place Dec. 5, 2001, in New York between Rich Langley and Louisa Almedovar and lasted 30 hours, 59 minutes, and 27 seconds.
* 50% of people have had their first kiss by age 14.
* Philematology is the science of kissing.
* The typical woman kisses 79 men before she gets married.
* A German study of hundreds of couples determined that 2/3rds of people turn their heads to the right when kissing.
* Kissing releases the same neurotransmitters as intense exercise.
* About 26 calories are burned during a one-minute kiss.
Happy kissing!
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Posted on
Friday 1 February 2008
Q. Dear Dr. Skye: There’s a story going around that a plane leaves Los Angeles every Friday afternoon filled with strippers and prostitutes headed to Las Vegas. If this isn’t a hoax, can you please verify that it is a Southwest Airlines flight and when it leaves? — Fred. C., Orange County, CA
A: Sorry to mess with your fantasy, Fred. There isn’t just one single “stripper flight” filled only with hot women traveling to Vegas on Friday afternoons and back to California on Sundays. But the influx of working women to Vegas when Sin City is hosting large conventions or Super Bowl revelers is true. They fly from a number of California airports on different airlines, however. Rumor has it that the best place to view these women “en masse” and for free is Sunday afternoons in Vegas’ McClarren Airport.
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Posted on
Thursday 17 January 2008
Q: Dear Dr. Skye: Have you heard of organic underwear? The panties are green with the slogan “Eat Organic” printed on the front. — Jane L., Brooklyn, NY
A: If you Google “organic underwear,” you’ll get over a million hits — most for garments made from organic cotton or hemp. The brand you mention is Buenostyle, and they actually have several colors with the same titillating message. I’ve heard the underwear is a popular gift at bridal showers — particularly co-ed showers!
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Posted on
Tuesday 8 January 2008
From Dr. Skye: Here’s a little sexual humor to make you smile…
Results of a recent research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex:
The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex.
* This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.
The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex.
* This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.
The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex.
* This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.
The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex
* This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say “screw you.”
The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex.
* Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night.
The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex. * This is when you cannot stand your spouse any more. S/he takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.
And; last, but not least, the 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex.
* You get a little each month. But not enough to enjoy yourself.
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Posted on
Monday 10 December 2007
Q: Dear Dr. Skye: I saw a segment on The Today Show about some great new foods that can help you with everything from aging and increased libido. Can the cupuacu plant really help your sex life? — Chad F., San Francisco, CA
A: Antioxidant-rich plants, such as the cupuacu from the rainforest, offer many benefits. These include boosting your immune system and helping you feel more energetic — two things that can also increase your libido. In contrast, being tired and/or under the weather can definitely decrease your sex drive. So, if you can find cupuacu in your local health food store or market (in juice, concentrate, sorbet, etc), it would be a great addition to your diet. Also consider yerbe mate, a tea-like drink that is even better for you than green tea. And some studies show that pomegranate juice may improve erectile function. So eating healthful foods can have a positive effect on your health — in and out of bed.
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Posted on
Monday 26 November 2007
Q: Dear Dr. Skye: I overheard my boyfriend telling his friends he had a mancrush on Peyton Manning, the football player. Do you think he’s bi-sexual? — Jerri G., Fort Lauderdale, FL
A: I’ll assume you’re asking if your boyfriend is bi-sexual, not Indianapolis Colts’ quarterback Payton Manning! ;-) While I have no way of knowing the sexual orientation of either man, I can reassure you that having a “mancrush” doesn’t make a guy bi or gay. This is how UrbanDictionary.com defines mancrush: “A heterosexual man admiring another man to an extreme in a non-romantic or sexual way, more having an intense desire to be that other man. As in, I have the biggest mancrush on Brad Pit. I wish I could be him.”
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